Never never land

6 days until I leave!

I can't believe it's getting so close! I have a jammed packed week and I have no clue when I'm actually going to have time for pack. As I was getting ready to go to work all I could think about is how when I'm in Germany I never feel like it's really real. I feel like I'm going to be forever young and never grow up.... I really understand Peter Pan now. I can see exactly why he never wanted to grow up. Who does? When I was a child I never understood why he didn't want to grow up because as a little kid you really dot understand much, but I get it now. After having my worst semester in life (when it came to grades) I'm not exactly sure I want to grow up either. Sure, I know that everyone does and you can't choose to grow older, but sometimes I wish I could pause life for a bit and live/love my 20s. I think that's why I love going to Germany so much.  Not only to see my friends and family that i dearly miss but because I feel like I'm really living. It's nice to feel like yea I'm 20 I'm going to live like it so I have stories to pass on to my kids (if kids are in my future). 

I was talking with some friends a couple days ago and we were talking about the days of high school. One friend never wants to go back because what is done is done for her and she loves the present then another wants to go back and fix the things she messed up, and me all I want to do is live my exchange year again. Not a do over... No just again. The innocence being broken down, the experiencing everything new, going to high school in a different language besides English and a few teachers not letting you do any work because they didn't want to spend their time grading it, deciding one day to blend in and be a 'citizen of that country' and then the next day be a complete tourist and going to see some huge castle or church. Although a year long exchange is not an easy task I would do it again in a heart beat. 

So after all my random thoughts of never never land ill end with this: 

I once heard a saying "your life starts once you step out of your comfort zone. " sometimes I feel like one is only living their life when out of their comfort zone.